This morning, I was catching up on all of the Facebook Halloween posts. I always love seeing all of the kids and adults in their costumes! I love seeing all of the kids running up to the door to get a special treat. Liberty wanted to be Rainbow Dash this year and she was so stinking cute!!
I admit Halloween isn't one of my favorite holidays. I don't know if it is the fact that I don't like to be unsure of frightened. But I think that has a lot to do with it. I can remember being about 6 years old and my parents took us to a Haunted House. I DID NOT want to go. I reluctantly entered the house in my father's arms holding tight to his neck. There came a point in the Haunted House that we had to crawl through an opening. I refused to let go of my father and in turn, knocked his glasses off his face. The Haunted House stopped. All the lights were turned on to find my fathers glasses. When all the lights were on, I could see that things that I was afraid of were not scary at all. The workers were very kind to me and made me feel a little calmer. Needless to say, my dad and I didn't finish the tour. But this story reminds me of where Liberty is... and where she has been. Although it has been 2.5 years since we have become a family, there are still trials and tribulations that we face every day. Some old....some new.
One of these trials is Liberty's fear. She has always been afraid of "new", "different", and "unfamiliar". But we have noticed that sometimes, she is still afraid of things that aren't new but a daily ritual. An example of this and the one that breaks my heart every morning is this. When I drop her off at school, every morning, before her hug and after her kiss, she asked, "Mommy, you are coming to get me, right?" It is heart-wrenching to think that after 2.5 years, the thought of abandonment still haunts her.... Like a bad dream, being left without parents. It kills me. My answer every morning is "Of course I am. I would never leave you!"
Another small glimpse of her past shown through earlier this week when a field trip date was changed and I was unable to go. She told me that she didn't want to visit the pumpkin patch with her class. When I asked her why, she said that since I was not going, there wouldn't be anyone to make sure she was safe. This broke my heart .... and melted it as well. Although we understand that she has the fear of NOT being safe, It did make me feel wonderful that I was a sense of safety in her whole. Thank God for Ms. Amy, her teacher, who sat with her and me and promised to keep her safe during the trip.
We continue to reassure her that she is most definitely safe with us and that our family will do all we can to keep it that way!
School has been another change for her. We decided she might need a little more attention that the Public School was giving her. We have had her at Kankakee Valley Montessori School for first grade and have been so happy. It is a different way of learning and it is a perfect fit for Liberty! Her teacher Ms. Amy is a blessing to our family!!! She is exactly what Liberty needed! She continues to grow and learn more and more every day! He social skills are improving immensely! We have discovered that, like her brother Sam, likes being the class clown!! Oh boy!!! Hope I can make it through this...
We had a super special treat last month!! We were able to meet up with two other families who had adopted children from the same orphanage and classroom as Liberty! I have pics of her with these two boys when they were babies and NOW!! :) I am not sure if they "remembered" one another but they were like old friends who hadn't seen each other in awhile. It was cool to hear how all htree of the kids were struggling with some of the same issues. The families have vowed to keep up the visits and relationships!! It was so exciting for us to show Liberty that her life before becoming a "Myers" is very important.
It was very inspiring to hear that both of the families were in the process of adopting again. Even thought adopting again is not in our future, the responsibility to share our story to help even one family decide to adopt will never end for us. It is our God- given responsibility to share all we know and all we have learned. If our adoption story helps even one child, it makes telling this story over and over worth it! So I will continue to share our journey with Liberty for as long as people are listening.....
Thank You, God for giving us this gift and responsibility! We are ever grateful even when it's tough!